For What’s Ahead

Being at a turning point in your life forces self awareness to some degree. You can’t help but reflect on where you’ve been and anticipate what’s ahead.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34

That’s a hard one to swallow but its a reminder that’s needed when I begin to plan and fixate on uncertainties. I find empathy in those words. Today has enough to think about. Work on what you’re doing today. One thing at a time. It’s easy to be overwhelmed in thought. The time to worry about tomorrow is tomorrow.

I know there is beauty that comes in times of transition whether that transition may be pursued or forced. When it’s forced, you just have to look a little harder or wait a little longer to see it. Either way, crossroads in life can be embraced as a time of growth. I’ll now be able to unapologetically make the decisions that are right for our next home, on my own terms. Honestly, I don’t know what that looks like just yet but as I sit in a house that I’m waiting to sale there are some decisions I can make today about my stuff.

I’m filtering what I take with me through this question, “What will help me create the life that I want to live in the next season of life (i.e. single, homeschool mom).” That stipulation will become my deciding factor for what I choose to keep and discard. And while I’ll propose that question in my mind over and over again, here are some questions that I am not asking myself that may have been considered at another point in my life.

“What are things that I may need for (an undefined) one day? What are things I may want to repurpose for my next home? What is the most I can actually fit in the storage unit? What else do I want to save that my kids may want one day? What if I can’t sell that to make it worth what we paid for it? Where can I keep this until I decide what I want to do with it?”

Most of the questions in the above paragraph allows for delayed decision making. The time to make decisions is now. When we moved into this house, I was so excited to finally have a studio and homeschool space. At our last house, I quickly found out that having a hand sewn bookbinding studio with cats was not awesome. Because we didn’t have a room with a closed door, the cats would attack and shred any string I’d left out for sewing.

In this home, I made several books that I tried to sell through a handmade business that eventually fizzled out. Now I have a multitude of papers, strings and supplies that I do not plan to bring into the next space. That time will forever be a piece of me, but the stuff doesn’t have to be. The investment of time and money into that business was exactly what I wanted and needed to be a part of who I was while I was struggling in a marriage that I felt like I was losing myself to. It became the thing I did for me but it’s not what I want to continue investing in. Will I get rid of all of my bookbinding supplies? Probably not but what is kept will help me create the life that I want to live in the next season of life (i.e. single, homeschool mom, not handbound book artisan).

Sometimes I think its easier to look at our stuff and make our lives fit into needing it. The mind is an excellent negotiator. You can reason yourself into keeping anything. It’s a bit harder to make our stuff fit into our lives. That takes some redefining. What are some things that you have let define who you are that now need to submit to who you want to be? Are you at a crossroads? What will help you create the life that you want to live?

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